Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Platonic Dude Pickup?

Sunday morning, I looked at my phone's recent received calls history. My mind's reaction went like this: "Wait...who the hell's Mike Sulli....ohhh right."

Going out to bars is something I like to think I've done a good amount of by this point in my life. Thus, when something happens while out that I've never had occur, a red flag goes up and I am as the French say, thrown for a loop. One of these things happened this past Saturday night at The Globe on the LES (Lower East Syclops). A longtime friend of mine is moving to LA for some unknown reason I can only imagine involves a love of jetlag, and the attendees of the bar were mostly her friends and coworkers. There, scene set.

I was standing at the bar, ordering a drink, and a dude standing next to me introduces himself as Mike. Oh hey, that's my name too, and I tell him. This guy gets really excited by that development. I'm not sure how he's gotten this far in life without realizing it's one of the most common male names between the years 1820-forever, but here we are.

Next, he asks me where I'm from. I say a little south of Boston, he says that he too is from Massachusetts. Again, lost of excitement from this guy. Too much. Keep in mind we were not excavating in the Andes (can you excavate there?), we were a three-hour Chinatown bus ride away from Mass. So again, not that unusual to run into someone from the area. Maybe I've just set the bar for excitement too high.

Then, he asks me where I live right now. I say Astoria, and he nearly flips a shit and says he lives sort of near there. Again, we were in Manhattan. There was a 1/4 chance that we lived in the same burrow (I refuse to count Staten, Long, or Jersey Island). Then, seamlessly...he asks for my number.

Now let me point out that this guy had his girlfriend there with him. He was clearly straight...or at least she was a very convincing beard, but the point remained...

I got picked up by a straight guy.

Now, I'm all for making new friends, but I mean, why get my number based on what our conversation had been up to that point? Is he gonna call so we can talk about how cool it is to have the same first name? Are we gonna exchange information on whether or not our parents call us "Michael"? Talk about how we sort of live near each other and verbally high five?

Well, it's been three days and he hasn't called. Just like a man. Am I right ladies? It's also annoying when they leave the seat up! Okay, SatC's on! L8taz!

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