Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Revelations from Remastered Beatles CDs

For twenty years, Beatles fans have been stuck with the same low-fi, liner-note-less, wrong mixes-using CDs to deal with. Yeah after year, the promise of a catalog upgrade would come and go, leaving those of us who revel in fine audio quality to seek out old vinyl pressings or bootleg needle-drops. In almost all cases, these alternate sources blew the CDs away.

However, on September 9, 2009 - that all changes. The entire Beatles catalog is getting the upgrade it so richly deserves. And let me tell you, the results are stunning. That's right, I'm one of the few select individuals who has heard these disks ahead of time, and the difference is night and day. The sound is so clear, it's like you're right there in the studio with the Fab Four. Of course, sometimes these sort of remasterings can be too honest.

Here are some revelations that have been buried in those master tapes for years, but are only now audible:

- During “Honey Pie” you can actually hear John’s eyes rolling.

- From the White Album through to Let It Be, the entire atmosphere sounds “Japanese-ier”.

- Upon further listen, it is revealed that Revolver was recorded entirely backwards. Played forwards, its crap.

- The guy chanting “number 9…number 9…” is Wilford Brimley.

- Most of George Harrison’s songs are unintentionally plagiarized Chiffons songs.

- Between Please Please Me and With the Beatles, their outfits sound way more expensive.

- Ringo’s drumming is way better on “Back In the USSR” and “Dear Prudence”…for some reason.

- On the post-1966 recordings, Paul sounds dead-er.

- On “I Feel Fine”, John sounds surprisingly agitated.

- Due to strict FCC guidelines, A Hard Day’s Night was only recorded from the waist up.

- At the fade-out of the Abbey Road final medley, you can hear Paul say “suckers, the love you take has little-to-no bearing on the love you make.”

- On “Yesterday”, you can hear John, George, and Ringo doing Sudoku in the corner.

- In the first few bars of "Across the Universe", Lennon can be heard uttering "I hope someone turns this song into a shitty movie one day!"

- Those chants at the end of “I Am the Walrus” are all the same guy.

- During “The Ballad of John and Yoko” you can actually hear Paul McCartney’s eyes rolling.

- During the harmonies on “Because”, you can hear Paul and John flicking each other off.

- Side 1 of Sgt. Pepper is actually the Monkees.

- On “All You Need Is Love”, you can hear Lennon counting money.

- The four original songs on the Yellow Submarine soundtrack were recorded over the phone.

- “I Me Mine” was actually recorded with lawyers present.

- Three minutes into "I Want You (She's So Heavy)", Ringo can clearly be heard taking a nap, but wakes up well refreshed for the final four minutes of the song.

- During “Within You Without You” you can actually hear John, Paul, and Ringo’s eyes rolling.

- Though they were not needed on the recording, John, George, and Ringo can be heard in the booth during “Blackbird”, just because Paul wanted them to watch.

- During the second orchestral climax in “A Day in the Life”, you can hear a British cellist’s head explode.

- At the end of “Strawberry Fields Forever”, John is definitely saying “cranberry sauce”, but while he’s saying it, he’s burying Paul.

- Ringo sounds really naked during most of Rubber Soul.

- During all of Magical Mystery Tour, you can hear George Martin’s eyes rolling.


Anonymous said...

For some reason the image of this "- On “Yesterday”, you can hear John, George, and Ringo doing Sudoku in the corner." made me laugh harder than the others. :-)
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Good ones!

Anonymous said...

They are all pretty funny, but the one I like best is the one about the first four songs of the Yellow Submarine being recorded over the phone. I also like all the ones where someone is rolling his eyes.